I sucked in my breath like a gasp so strong it arched my body forward and then I fell back against my pillow.
The action woke me up.
Feelings of saddness and despair crept over me. I felt anger, dissapointment and betrayal. I felt this in my gut and it rose upward into my brain taking my heart with it. It felt strange to experience this unhappiness. As this experience unfolded so quickly, I still had the thoughts from just before. I was happy.
Yes, just moments before my breath returned I was laying in calm and joy. I remember distinctly resting and relaxing in the thought of knowing peace and connectedness. I had awakened earlier and cut some cords, reset some intentions and had drifted back to sleep feeling really good about the situation. Usually, when I fall back to sleep in the early morning I sleep deeply, awaken slowly and feel regenerated. This morning the waking was so aburpt that I felt both sides of the sleep experience at the same time.
As I allowed this moment to flow through me I noticed the intensity starting to give way. I wondered, is this the collective consciousness or is this a realease of emotions as a result of cutting cords. Maybe a bit of both. What was the sudden inbreath? Was that the Masculine/ Father energy moving me into action? And if so, was I immersed in the Divine mother energy feeling connected in joy just before?
My cat jumps up on the bed with me and snuggles near my solar plexus and starts purring. I am grateful for her help in getting me reanchored and lay there listening to her healing purrs. She actually doesn’t purr that often so this must be important. I listen to my breath and feel more connected to my body. My dog arrives to complete the process. Time to get up. She shares her joy and sense of duty with a purposeful bump against the bed.
I am not sad anymore. Hard to be with such good helpers at my side. But I will look and sit with this special viewing again.
What a rare offering for insight.
Footnote: For those that want to be worried I have sleep apneia and need to see a Dr. Okay, thank you for that.